Life is like an onion....with the tears

Wow! Its been a while, seems like life is much to busy to blog to the universe about me! So, here I am trying to find something to say amid near ascension, earthquakes, spring that sprung up like a cricket in the grass, gardening, children, the journey to god parenthood, camping, dieting, cleansing, colonics, chaos, survival and peace of mind. To many things going on sometimes I wonder is this productive to be so busy, or would I be better serving my family to cut back.

Downloading and purging
My goal really to cut back on everything, be more sustainable, live right, do right, clean up clean out...blah blah. So in my effort to re-evaluate all of this  have come to re-learn that nothing really means anything unless you have your heart in it, and I thought telling all to you is a good way to allow you in to whats in my heart. But on the whole, whats in my heart is to be true to myself, serve my community and my family as best as possible. So this is a catch 22.

 I am really unnerved by all this speeding up of life, where does one begin and end their day, their journey? Where do I focus my energy? This push and pull can be quite overwhelming, I feel like a rubber band. Friends talk of the environment, the trash, the eco friendly ways to be, the angering issues out there, the better things to do to make a difference. I am stumped really. The only answer I know of for sure is that if people were happy, loving and pouring all of that intention out into the universe then the world would be a healthy healed wonderful place with peace and no strife.

 That's what I am trying to do ultimately. Pour love out and receive it back, feeling blessed and then maybe I will feel better and everyone around me will also. This will be contagious, we will all be overwhelmed by love and gratitude allowing it in, giving it out. Giving sharing, loving, happy.

Pondering
I put my hands in the dirt on a sunny mountain day. The wind gently blows the pollen through my hair. I smell the remnants of early moist meadow wildflowers. Others are only beginning their parched bloom on the hill, thriving in the dry grass. I wonder; they come and go, they thrive in the conditions provided by mother nature, she may only allot a smidgen of a spring one year and others it seems to never end. But they come back every year. They thrive, they make do. Who are we to be greedy and ask for more than we need. I can make do with this sparse drop of water cant I? I can hold my colorful petals high in the tall grass and still be strong enough to hold up the passing butterfly or scurrying beetle.

It feels like a haiku

Change
 the rain and dew
made flowers bright and tall
drought comes soon

Amber grain
life in motion
grass waves in the wind
on meadows wide

The Bleeding Heart
empty casing clings
the flowers heart bleeds
while waiting

I was  a five day camp trip in gold country with 17 10 year olds last week. Some of the children hike uphill very slow. I was becoming annoyed until I remembered I like poetry i nature, I enjoy photographing. Take Pictures! Hello! Why complain and hurry the hike? Only to arrive an hour before anyone with an empty memory card? Never. I found so many inspiring freaks in nature, some amazing anomalies, some perfect moments. Then the children joined in, searching for things that need a picture of them. They said we all have pictures of us, do you think the flowers mind if no one takes their picture? I said they would never know the difference, but lets take them anyways. Above is a bleeding heart who has been patiently waiting until decomposition for the hanging empty bug casing falls off. A leaf painted on a log by the rain, the smallest banana slug in a row of big ones...always an opportunity to slow down and appreciate.