Lessons

My little one True has a real need for proper hellos and goodbyes. He is teaching us to be patient and to thank and aknowlege everyone these days. He is teaching us to slow down to be aware to be present with each person we come in contact with. I have to look back at his birth to connect the dots.....he came in  about as gently as it gets, sleeping and a short birth at home in water, no trauma, just peaceful. He came in happy, still and present. He was quite aware, more than most babies I have witnessed being born. He is trusting and so loving...no reason to fear.

He had the opposite experience as my eldest River. Pushed, blasted by trauma, cutting, oxygen, blam...baby! This has lent to a bit more of a rough edge- a sarcastic take on the world, a bit less trusting. A skeptic on the situation. Also a good quality....teaching us to have a watchful eye, a sense of danger or protection.

But back to True for now. He was peaceful up until about a few months ago when the "terrible threes" hit. So things are bit more exaggerated lately. He likes to be prepared for changes, he wants to know when things are going to begin or end or change. He likes to have fair warning and completion. He has his own rhythms and little idiosyncrasies that blow me away sometimes. He wants to say hello to people and is very genuine and talkative. He needs a proper goodbye, an ending that feels complete to him. I like this, though sometimes it tries my patience, or gets a bit obsessive. It has escalated to the point where we get in the car after leaving someones house and it dawns on him that he did not give someone the fifth hug, or another kiss on the lips (a must) and we have to turn around and go back retrace our steps and do it all again. This happens often enough that I wonder....how is he so much like this and most other people in the world could give a fuck? We leave parties, family events, to go to school or work and barely say "Se ya." I think he has a good point. He creates ritual out of everything, even lining his toys up in uniform rows, or organizing by color. Ok, a bit OCD, well like mother like son I guess here...but still, I have a lot to learn from him. He prides himself in completion and satisfaction of the moment, he is aware of everyone and gets sad if they did not get equal love. Sweet really and a lesson to us all...Spend that extra second to give another hug, to say "good bye and I love you". Because really you never know....earthquakes, tsunamis, aliens.....really we could be swept up at any moment.

I love how lately he has been getting into this little mantra about who he loves....he begins with the ones closest- the parents, the brother, the friends, the grandparents. Then he moves out to teachers, classmates and their parents and his animals, and places and things. So innocent and happy about it, always offering it up to people always wanting to tell you when his heart sings for someone. This also gives me hope and helps me try harder....

I love how every time I have a thought about the ways things ought to be, or how they need improvement or what I would like to do better at.....it is just right in front of me...saying "Wakeup!" "Slowdown!"